#and a wicked bath bomb and shower gel

[chaossmagic]

I definitely spent too much money today, but I treated myself and got a Christmas present for my dad and a birthday present for my nephew, so it's money well spent I think.

[doctorrookie]

A Spicy Surprise

A/N: This is my first ever fic (for Ethan) and boy, am I nervous. It doesn't really have a category, so let's just call it an introductory, smutty, fluffy piece. I was inspired by a Tiktok video and I really hope you like this one. I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this, just letting all my creative juices flow. Go easy on me.

My MC is a female, named Alexandria Lee. More on her soon.

Word count: 1,921

—

“Ooh, Aly look!” Sienna grabs my wrist and pulls me over to the Bath and Glory stand. A big 50% off sign graces the top shelf.

Sienna and my shift just ended, but neither of us felt too tired, so we decided that we would go out for dinner at the mall nearby. After a sumptuous meal of the heartiest pasta on the face of the earth, we decided to take a stroll around the mall to burn some of it off. Sephora was having a Christmas sale, and we both thought we could go with some new war paint for work. Upon entering, we’re greeted by name brand after name brand etched on stands that are completely wiped out.

We glance at the half-empty Bath and Glory stand, shower gels, bath bombs, skin rejuvenator, whatever that is. Sienna picked up a thin tube of what looks like clear lip gloss.

“Minty Lip Maximiser, perfect for tingly make-out sessions…” Sienna teased, and I can feel my face flush red.

Ethan and I were getting a little… steamy in the supply closet, and Sienna happened to barge in right in the middle of our lip-lock, and let’s just say it’s a miracle his tongue is still in one piece. It’s a hilarious story, but it’s one I’ll share another day.

“Sie, stop it. You’re embarrassing yourself,” I giggle as she starts making kissy faces and sloppy lip-smacking sounds.

“You should totally get this, trust me.”

She zips her lips and gives me a playful wink, a mischievous glint in her other, open eye. There’s something more to this. Something… sinful, perhaps? I just have to know more.

“Is there something more to the equation?”

Sienna pulls me in close, her lips merely an inch away from my ear. Her soft, lilting voice juxtaposes against the content of her whispers. I would have never pegged as someone who would do something like that, but I have been known to be wrong about these things. The corners of my mouth twist into a wicked grin as I formulate a plan in my mind to surprise Ethan, courtesy of Sienna’s mildly disturbing tale.

—

I head to Ethan’s apartment. I spend one or two nights here a week, even though he’s constantly begging for more, but I pay good money for the five-roomer every month, so I have to make sure I get my worth. I slipped the key into the keyhole, just tingling with anticipation to find out his response to my little prank. I scan my eyes around his apartment and find him sitting on the couch, reading (yes, you guessed it) a medical journal. He looks up and beams at me, a smile I absolutely adore.

“Hi, rookie.” He pats the seat next to him, inviting me to join him. I set my bag down on the counter and make my way to his uber comfortable couch. He pulls me in by the waist for a tight hug and I can smell the faint combination of cologne, detergent, and aftershave all over him. The scent is truly intoxicating, and I find myself breathing in deep, revelling in his warmth. He places a soft, tender kiss on my forehead, his light stubble tickling me as I lean into him.

“Hey, Dr Ramsey, how was your day off?”

I turn myself slightly and lean my legs on the rest of the available couch space. I’ve been on them for 10 days straight, being on call and having multiple shifts lined up. I could use about a week’s worth of bed rest. That is, only if he’s right next to me.

“It was fine. Not as good as it could have been…” he closes the journal and places it on the coffee table, giving me his undivided attention.

“Aww, why is that?” I feign ignorance as I run a hand through his soft, dark locks, tousling it in the process.

“I know you just want me to say it’s because you’ve been gone all day.”

“Alright, then say it.”

He sighs lightly, a smirk appearing on his lips.

“Fine. It’s because you, Dr Alexandria Lee, have been away from me for more than 12 hours, and I had to wake up all alone this morning, holding and kissing, mind you, what I thought was my beautiful girlfriend, but turned out to be a pillow that smelled exactly like your hair.”

Ethan Ramsey, whispering sweet nothings in my ear. The sky is falling.

“Well, let’s see what I can do to make up for it then.”

I shift slightly so that my legs were in his lap and lean in close to plant a kiss on his lips, but with one strong move, he pinned my wrists down onto the seat cushions and hovered over me, his breath warm against my neck. He starts attacking my neck with kisses, and they burn into my skin with great passion and desire. He catches me by surprise when he gently nibbles and sucks on the sensitive spot right below my earlobe. My shallow breaths hitch and a soft moan escape me before I could suppress it. All thoughts disperse from my head, like a cloud of smoke. I just need him to do this to me all night long. He pulls away all of a sudden.

“E, what…”

“Let’s save this for later.  After all, we’ve got all night. And I have plans for every single minute of it.”

As much as I hate being teased, delicious tingles run up and down my body. We’ve both got a day off tomorrow and I can’t wait to see what shenanigans we’d be up to. Something wholesome, or something a little… dirtier.

“You’re right. I’ll go take a shower.”

I grab my purse, careful to not let him see the sheer, flimsy garment I have hidden in it. I make my way to the en-suite bathroom as I feel his eyes on me.

“Dr Ramsey, don’t you know it’s impolite to stare?” I say without turning back.

“Well, I can’t help it because…” He trails off.

“Because what?” I turn back, and our eyes lock.

“I like you, rookie.”

And with that, he opens up the journal and begins reading again. I sigh contentedly.

“I like you too, doctor.”

I close the bedroom door and scavenge for my towel, which is neatly folded next to his in the bathroom. I find a cute little basket of bottles adorned with jasmines and candy canes. A note sits on top of it.

Some olfactory stimulation to match how gorgeous you are, both inside and out

- E

This man truly knows his way around my heart. I’ve only mentioned I love jasmine-scented things once in passing. I can’t believe he remembered. And there’s this note. I can’t believe he went to visit my favorite retailer to get this, especially since there aren’t many outlets in Boston.

The sky is truly falling, and so am I.

I untie the ribbon and take a deep sniff of the lovely scent. Mmm… jas-mint. I love it.

—

I step out of the shower, reaching for my fluffy lilac towel. It even smells like him. I wrap it around my shoulders, the thick material providing some warmth on this cold winter day. I hunt around for the blow-dryer and let the heat take away those wet hair shudders. I rummage through my bag and find the little black negligee that I ordered last week. It got here yesterday, just in time for our weekly rendezvous. I slip it on and toss my hair back before checking how everything looks in the mirror.

Perfect.

As if on cue, the little Sephora bag tumbles out of my purse. I almost feel guilty about my little plan, but curiosity has always got the best of me. I unwrap the tube and apply some of the plumper on my lips. It’s got a menthol-cool burn, but nothing I can’t handle. I just hope Ethan has the same tolerance level as I do.

I drop my purse on the bedroom floor and twist the doorknob open, poking my head out to the living room. Ethan’s in the same position, still engrossed in the journal. He doesn’t notice my stroll from the bedroom to the couch, nor did he sense my hovering presence.

I clear my throat. “Ahem, Dr Ramsey.”

He looked up at me, mouth gaping as he took it all in.

“Aly…”

He pulled me down onto his lap, his dilated pupils becoming a tell-tale sign about his positive reaction to my little get-up. Well, one of the signs anyway.

“Mmm?” I try to stimulate a response from him.

“You look amazing.”

“Kiss me,” I whisper in his ear while slipping his glasses off, trying to stifle all signs of my mean-spirited prank. As I say that, a part of me is kicking myself for ruining this moment, and another part of me is bursting with laughter, just awaiting his response. Either way, it’s too late to back out as he’s leaning in steadily, eyes fluttering shut. I reciprocate and we lock lips tenderly. A faint taste of scotch, mixed with the mint from my gloss. Mmm.

Before any one of us could deepen the kiss, he pulls away all of a sudden, eyes wide as saucers.

“Aly, what is that?” He says urgently, breathing in and out from his mouth. “Oh gosh, it burns!”

He yelps and starts fanning his lips. The sight of it makes me burst out in laughter. The usually stoic Dr Ethan J. Ramsey is flapping his hands about and making an involuntary duck face.

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME, LEE?” He groans loudly.

I barely managed to catch my breath, and he starts yelping in pain, triggering a second wave of belly laughs. Oh gosh, no one will believe me when I tell this story.

“Lip plumper…” I whimper through my laughs.

“They feel so numb. Are they bigger?” He points to his swollen, red lips. Well, it did say extreme plumping on the packaging.

I nod cautiously because he seems angrier right now than I’ve ever seen him. His eyebrows furrow as he squeezes his eyes tight. I love this.

I walk over to the kitchen to get him a glass of water and he downs it quick. After about a minute, he calms down and regains his composure. I give him a little sideways smirk as I pout my lips slightly and lean in to kiss him again.

“Woah, woah, Lee,” he holds a hand up to cup my mouth. “There’s no way you’re getting near these lips for a week!”

“Aww come on. After so many naughty texts today and that hickie you left on me just now?” I push my hair to the side to reveal the bruise forming beneath my earlobe.

“Fuck…” He groans. I’ve got him hooked.

“How can I be sure that you don’t stab me in my sleep tonight?” He cautiously backs away from me.

“Oh come on, I think you’d be able to see if I have a knife hidden on me right now, right?” I stand up and do a slow twirl for him, making sure to slow down and display the back of my lace thong to him.

He stands up and grabs my wrist, pulling me into the bedroom.

“Fine, we’ll have to work out a punishment for your escapade, but you’re not getting that pretty little mouth anywhere near…”

“We’ll see…”

[barnesandco]

Nikah: October

Story Masterlist

Nikah: noun, Arabic, meaning the contract of marriage.

Bucky marries Peter’s former tutor because her student visa’s about to expire and the government isn’t granting her a green card. Can she find a way to permanent residence by marriage, and if so, will it be at the cost of their hearts?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Slight language, mild angst. 

A/N: Written under the Arranged/Accidental Marriage trope for @mermaidxatxheart​​ ‘s writing challenge. Only two more chapters left! Thank you for commenting and reblogging on the previous chapter - I’m sorry I haven’t been able to respond to it all yet. It’s been a busy Monday, but I’ll get around to it. I hope you enjoy the rest!

It's quiet, all acoustics numbed by the blanket of snow that surrounds them, untarnished for miles on end with the exception of the bunker they're observing. Bucky and Peter lay on their stomachs, the former's fingers adjusting his rifle, and the latter fiddling with his mask, twisting and turning it between nimble fingers. The gigantic block of cement that will soon house their targets is a sitting duck below the hillside they are situated on. 

Bucky can see the hazy outline of the quinjet cloaked by the invisibility shield above the bunker, where Sam and Clint hover like eagles awaiting the rabbits they are to prey on. Wanda and Vision are on the adjacent hill-top, camouflaged to the best of their ability. No red coats or blue skies today, amidst the white world and gray sky. 

Whoever is orchestrating an arms deal in Greenland of all places, is bearing the brunt of all of Bucky's curses. They've been hunting this particularly nasty international gang for months, and the finish line is now in sight. Can't come quickly enough for Bucky, as the snow is more a sheet of rock under his body. 

Still not as stony as Peter's attitude, however. The teenager has hardly spoken a word to him since they left the Compound, clearly disgruntled and wearing it on his face like the special white suit crafted specifically for snowy climates. From his peripherals, Bucky can see that he's giving him a displeased side-eye, but the moment he turns to look at him fully, Peter shifts his eyes forward. Wordlessly proclaims innocence.

"What's the matter?' Bucky asks, caught between frustration and concern, turning off the mic in his communications device. Peter shakes his head, brown curls somehow bouncing, the only live thing left in miles of desolation, aside from the coniferous bushes they're using as cover. "Listen, kid. I don't know what I did but I want to fix it if it's makin' you-"

"I can't believe you split up," Peter says suddenly, his downcast gaze indicating that it isn't disbelief he's struggling with, it's agitation. 

"This was the plan, Peter. I vouch for her as her husband so she gets her permanent residence, and then we separate." He ignored the fact that they know full well that the plan was to divorce, not separate in the quiet of the night, like burglars in the dark. However, when the time came, she had pointed out - and rightly so - that divorce would paint a bad picture of both of them. The media has yet to discover that their marriage has ended, because legally speaking, it has not. 

"That was before you two caught feelings," Peter grumbles against the fist he's pressing to his chin. Bucky's eyes widen, eyebrows rising to meet the hem of his hat. He composes himself.

"Son, I hate to say it, but there weren't any feelings. She never-"

"Never what, Mr. Barnes? Liked you? Loved you? And they say us kids don't know how to communicate in real life." The last comment is delivered under his breath, passive-aggressive, soul-burning anger and irritation radiating like waves of heat from him. Sighing heavily, Bucky navigates the battlefield that feels more dangerous than the one he's laying on. 

"Peter, I'm sorry, but me and her were never meant to be. Life is like that, y'know," He says, distant, eyes focusing on the crosshairs of his scope. Life is like that - throws your hope out the window and forces you to live with the feeble remains you have left. All he has left is a broken heart and cold feet, but hell, that could be the names of his memoir, for all his heartache and cowardice.

"And you think that this is what you were meant to be? You're lonely and she's miserable, and you both act like it never happened. Like everything never happened." Peter rants, whisper-yelling at him as he shifts to sit up on the snow that's now a good way into melting below them, creating Bucky and Peter shaped indentations in the hillside. Like a fish, Bucky's mouth opens and closes for a response, no words. 

"I know you think I'm too young to understand any of this, but I know that losing people you love hurts. And you know as well as I do that life is too short to stay away from those people. So yeah, confessing that you need her is hard, but it can't be as hard as living without her." 

---

Bucky gets home bruised from the barrel of an intergalactic weapon and craving pakoray and chai, but has no energy for anything other than the bathtub. He's using the bath bombs she bought for him because he was reluctant to pamper himself in any way. The lavender scent envelopes him but he misses her jasmine perfume, the scent of her lemon-tinged shampoo, the hint of raspberry from her lip-balm if he got close enough. 

It's a damn shame that he'll die without tasting her lips. Without feeling the skin on her hip against his lips the way his hand has so many times in the past few months, her palm on his chest, his arm, when they wake up. Rarely entangled, but perennially connected.

It takes a grand total of fifteen minutes in the warm, purple water for Bucky to suspect he's losing his mind, his delicate, butter-fingers grasp on a reality already so fragile. A reality that balances like a car on the edge of a cliff in one of those action movies. The kind that only takes a pigeon to land on the hood before everything goes tumbling down. This is, in part, due to the ineffable silence.

He used to appreciate it, letting his eardrums rest after years of hearing fists meet Steve's face, the cracks of gunshots in the blood-infused trenches of the War, Hydra's orders barked angrily at him. Silence was a blanket of peace, but it's now waging a war against him. Wrestling with his mind to suffocate his sanity. So he does what he always must do ground himself - he thinks of her. Of the best way he remembers having his silence broken.

Her taste in music is... eclectic, to say the least. Bucky learns this upon returning deon a post-nightmare walk he insisted on taking alone to find his wife planting seeds in windows boxes at two in the morning. 

The cotton shalwaar kameez she's adopted as her night suit dances in the wind to the ending notes of Laung Lachi. That in itself wouldn't be unusual, if the next track on the playlist wasn't a fifties jazz song. The one after that, a Latin hit. Shakira, Bucky guesses. Eleven minutes and three genres later, he makes his presence known.

"Doll?" He calls, walking onto the balcony. She gives a soil-stained wave. "I thought you said you couldn't garden?" He asks, taking in her work. Three out of five boxes have been filled with soil, and she's tenderly brushing soil over the seeds in the second box. 

"Did I?"

"You were quite clear about it, darlin'. My thumb's as green as Trump's environmental policies, I think you said," He teases gently. She opens her mouth to rebut as the beginning notes to Summertime start up, and his feet itch with the will to join Ella's voice in dancing to the melody. He decides to skip the words - he knows he doesn't have the right ones right now - and holds out his hand, palm up, interrupting her explanation.

"I can't dance, Bucky."

"I'm pretty damn sure I've forgotten how to, too. Let's learn together?" 

She makes to wipe her hand on a nearby cloth but he takes it before she can. Grasps it in his own gently, places her other on his shoulder and his own on her waist. The balcony is black, dark, the scent of earth and her shower gel driving away the top-note of his nightmares as they sway, still a fair distance apart, but hearts growing closer.

Dancing on the balcony now feels like nothing more than a ghost of a dream, coming back to haunt him like a wicked lover. Bucky recalls her moonlit face, her star shine eyes, and thinks: Peter's too smart for his own good.

Taglist: @suz-123​ @mermaidxatxheart​ @buckyreaderrecs​ @shield-agent78​ @corneliabarnes​ @readerandcinephileingeneral​ @stevieboyharrington​ @notsomellowmushroom​ @veganfangirl5​ @mood-pancakes​ @lbuck121​ @starnight-charmer​ @redhairedfeistynerd​ @geeksareunique​ @samingtonwilson​ @alyxkbrl​ @bucky-smiles​

[vannahfanfics]

The Crawler’s Day Off

Category: Friendship Fluff

Fandom: Vigilantes- My Hero Academia Illegals

Characters: Koichi Haimawari, Kazuho Haneyama

A sedated smile decorated Koichi’s lips as he leisurely strolled across the sidewalk leading up to the spacious mall looming before him. To celebrate the conclusion of his college midterms, Kazuho had invited him to peruse the mall for a few hours. The mall’s hero merchandise shop had launched a new line of All Might hoodies, so naturally, Koichi was mega-game. 

Heat simmered across the pavement as it soaked up the sizzling summer sun blazing in the azure sky. The bare skin of his limbs very much enjoyed soaking up the pleasant heat provided by the rays spearing down from the atmosphere. Though it was the height of the season, Koichi’s trusty All Might hoodie looped around his waist, the sleeves flopping against his thighs with every step. A vigilante never knew when or where they had to spring into action, after all. Since his gain in popularity, Koichi had taken to carting around his hoodie and mask wherever he went, just in case. 

“Koichiiiii~!” The young college boy stopped in his tracks, craning his head as his name floated out of the crowd eclipsing the mall’s entrance. After a quick scan, he spotted a shock of poofy magenta hair bouncing around a grinning bespectacled face. Koichi found his smile brightening as he spotted Kazuho. He quickened his pace, eagerly trotting up to her.

“Hey. Have you been waiting very long?” Koichi asked sheepishly, his smile crinkling with mild guilt. Kazuho smiled pleasantly as she shook her head. “Oh, great. Ready to go inside, then?” he asked with a gesture towards the automatic sliding glass doors. Kazuho responded with a bright “Yep!” and they strolled into the massive building together. 

As they stepped over the threshold, two things struck Koichi: the refreshing blast of the air conditioner and the cacophony of the throng. People milled about the mall’s central rotunda or meandered towards their favorite stores, all while chattering incessantly. As it was a Saturday, the nearby settlements’ young residents had flocked to the mall to escape the intense summer heat and indulge in some shopping. Shouting slightly to surpass the dissonance of a thousand conversations, he asked Kazuho, “What would you like to do first?” 

“Eh? Didn’t you want to go to that merch store or whatever, Koichi?” she asked loudly while playing with the voluminous end of one of her pigtails. Koichi’s cheeks pinkened at her consideration, and he rubbed the back of his neck as his eyes trailed to the colorful signs and cosplayed mannequins adorning the shop’s front. His blue eyes flickered back to the girl, who just regarded him curiously. 

“We can go there later,” he decided, though every cell in his body vibrated with the need to have his hands on the new limited-edition hoodie as soon as possible. Kazuho had been nice enough to invite him on the outing, so the least he could do was allow her to enjoy herself. “Is there anywhere you want to go?” 

Kazuho’s cheeks turned the color of her hair as her magenta eyes drifted eastward.

“Well,” she offered shyly, wringing her hands and jingling the bracelets around her wrist, “I’d really like to check out the bath products store… They have nice bath bombs…” Kazuho’s gaze flickered to him anxiously, as if she expected him to scoff in disdain. The boy just smiled and began walking purposefully towards that end of the mall. 

“All right, then! Bath bombs, here we come!” As he strode off, he heard Kazuho squeak, and her flats slap-slapped after him. 

“Wait! Koichi!” 

~~~~~~~~~~

The bath bomb store nestled between a jewelry store and a bookstore. Koichi mulled about as Kazuho inspected the various wares piled in the plastic bin, picking up the compressed balls of soap and sniffing them to decide on her favorite aromas. Koichi realized that he was the only male in the store, but he didn’t mind; Kazuho’s eyes sparkled with delight as she sampled the bath bombs, so he was content as long as she was. As he waited patiently for her to choose her purchases, he meandered around, flipping open random bottles of shea butter lotions and shower gels to sniff them. He had to admit, quite a few of them smelled very lovely indeed. 

As he sniffed at a bottle of red apple-scented shower gel, a sudden scream made him gasp and drop the bottle. Droplets of viscous ruby liquid splashed across the white tile as he dashed to the storefront, looking left and right. People shrieked and tripped over one another as they raced away like scattered marbles. Koichi’s keen eyes tracked their frantic movements to their origin- the jewelry store next door. 

“Put it all in the bag! Hurry up!” A villain cornering a terrified jeweler barked savagely as he brandished a wicked-looked firearm in her face. Upon closer inspection, Koichi realized that the weapon actually morphed out of his hand. He can turn his body into guns? Freaky! Koichi thought as he gawked shamelessly. He only stumbled backward when Kazuho forcibly yanked him, dragging him around the displays of shampoos and conditioners and lotions to the back of the store. The cashiers and other customers huddled behind the register counter, one of them frantically speaking to an emergency operator. 

“Koichi! Are we gonna do something?” Kazuho hissed as she squatted down behind a round display, jerking him down into a crouch beside her. Koichi frowned; though he’d brought his disguise, a mall was a terribly busy place. Several pro heroes were bound to be patrolling the complex, and they wouldn’t take well to a pair of vigilantes up-staging them. However, he could hear the frightened jewelry store girl pitifully sobbing as she frantically gathered the gold and silver wares at gunpoint. 

“Someone has to do something,” he resolved, untying his hoodie so he could slink his arms through the sleeve and tug the hood up over his head. He fished his mask out of the pocket and strapped it over his face. “Stay here, Pop. Make sure the people in here are safe,” he ordered in a whisper before crawling out from behind the display. 

“Okay. Be careful!” Kazuho whispered, her magenta eyes wide as she watched him slowly crawl on all fours back to the front of the store. 

The mall was a ghost town; all the patrons had fled en masse, leaving the area silent except for the whimpers of the jewelry shop attendant and the angry curses of the robber. Koichi’s eyebrows narrowed in stark peaks over his oceanic eyes as he peered around the edge of the slim wall adjoining the two shops. One gun jutted out of the gunman’s leg to pin down the quivering security guard hunched in the corner between two bullet-ridden, shattered glass display cases. It looks like he can control the guns independently and produce them from any point on his body… That could be a problem, he frowned thoughtfully. 

Still, time was of the essence. Koichi had to try. 

Activating his Quirk, he zoomed across the tile, zig-zagging towards the gunman. Though Koichi’d hoped to catch him by surprise, the young girl gasping “oh!” when she caught sight of him rapidly slithering in made the villain whip around. Three pistols sprung up from his shoulders to automatically pepper Koichi with shots. The vigilante hurriedly hurled himself sideways to roll behind an undamaged display, though a bullet grazed his shin and splashed blood across the floor. He hissed at the sharp sting that bloomed across the nerve endings of his leg. 

“Who’s there? A hero?” the villain demanded. Koichi heard the girl screech and dissolve into blubbering sobs. Eyes narrowed, Koichi peered into the reflection of a small viewing mirror. Through the cracked glass, he observed the assailant grab the jeweler roughly by the arm and yank her halfway over the counter while pressing the barrel of the gun against her temple. “Don’t you get any funny ideas!” he snarled over the desperate wails of the terrorized woman, who probably didn’t get paid enough for this. “I’ll do it! I swear!” He punctuated the promise with a cock of the gun, making the girl moan mournfully. 

“Hey, hey, now,” Koichi called nonchalantly, easing his raised hands over the top of the counter with his arms tensed to yank them down in case the startled gunman tried to blow his fingers off. The unstable villain just watched with bloodshot eyes as Koichi inched his head up over the bullet-nicked counter. “Let’s just take it down a notch, both of us, yeah? I ain’t lookin’ for a fight.” 

The villain’s eyebrow twitched as he regarded the teenager skeptically. With his hands still extended over his head, Koichi directed both his index fingers to the crying woman. “I just want the girl, yeah? You can rob the store all you want, but let’s just let her go, okay? This is way above her paygrade.” 

“Yeah, but then I’d be deprived of a hostage.” 

Finally, Koichi got a good glimpse of the offender. A muscle-bound brute well over six-feet, two-hundred pounds, the young vigilante only hoped to defeat him with a surprise attack with the frightened girl well out of harm’s way. Koichi’s eyes widened as he heard a few of the guns protruding from the villain’s body click, and he waved his hands in a placating gesture. “Look, man! It’s all good! I don’t have any fancy tricks up my sleeve.” He grinned cheesily as he all but lied through his teeth. 

“Please,” the young girl pleading miserably through hiccuping sobs. “Just let me go. Take all the jewelry and money, I don’t care, just please- ahhhhhh!” Her pleas morphed into another round of screaming as the gunman shoved her down into the broken glass. His eyes trained on Koichi, who gradually edged himself to the left each time the opportunity presented itself. 

“Shut up, bitch. Finish loading up the goods!” he snarled and shoved her harshly away. The girl tripped over her heels and landed on her rump, but hurriedly crawled to the case to begin shoveling rings and necklaces and earrings into the sack through blurry tears. When the man was momentarily distracted by ordering her around, Koichi dropped back onto all fours. He activated his Quirk to zoom up the wall and across the ceiling. 

“What the hell-? Hey!” the man yelled, whipping around the shoot several of his guns at Koichi, who zig-zagged across the ceiling a skittering spider. The bullets narrowly avoided him, punching holes in the thin cardboard of the ceiling tiles. The girl took the opportunity to escape; panting, she clambered on all fours away from her assailant. Unfortunately, the man took notice. He materialized a new set of guns fixed directly on her crawling form. “Get back here!” 

As the guns exploded with loud pops, Koichi dove down the wall to scoop up the attendant, wrapping his arms around her middle and throwing all his weight to his left. He carried her with him as he rolled over behind another counter. He deposited her near the rattled security guard, who yelled at their sudden appearance. 

“Hold on. I’ll get you out of here,” Koichi ordered with a stern point of his finger. The white-faced girl just nodded frantically, irises swimming in a white sea. The villain now stamped around the back of the counter, cursing loudly and shooting in random directions as he gathered up his haul. Koichi carefully timed the firing of the guns with his sharp eyes to rapidly discern a pattern. He pinpointed a minute gap in their interval, one that would allow him to scoop up the two hostages and escape. Koichi had no care to combat the crazed, infuriated man; he’d leave that to the pro heroes. He was fast, not bulletproof. 

“Now!” he cried, grabbing hold of the man and woman in the split-second gap between the gunfire. He kicked off the counter using his Quirk to boost his force, sending them hurtling out of the jewelry store into the common area. Koichi slammed into a sofa, flinging the two hostages around either side while he slid down the back of the couch with an agonized groan. He quickly recollected himself, rubbing his bruised nose and rising to peek around the spine of the couch. Though thoroughly rattled, neither hostages were significantly injured. He breathed a sigh of relief.

“Get back here, you little shit!” 

“Oop! Time to dash,” Koichi gulped, dropping back down to all fours and firing up his Quirk. He zoomed away, zig-zagging to dodge the bullets raining down around him. He slipped right through the legs of a police officer rushing towards the scene with his gun drawn. It seemed the cavalry had finally arrived, and Koichi had no care to stick around for the conclusion. He’d saved the civilians; that’s all that mattered. 

Koichi hurriedly slipped into an abandoned side exit hall and stripped himself of his All Might hoodie and mask, stashing it in a decorative plant and playing the part of the frightened onlooker as a few police officers and a sidekick dashed by. After they migrated off, satisfied the stammering boy cowering behind the fern was not their masked illegal hero, Koichi bought himself a bottle of water from the nearby vending machine. He drained it to the dregs in three large gulps. He tossed it into the nearby trashcan and then sunk onto the metal bench beside it, sagging as the adrenaline caught up to him. 

“Ahhh… So much for a relaxing trip to the mall,” Koichi pouted. Still, as he fingered the fabric of his All Might hoodie still stuffed down between the broad leaves of the fresh-smelling fern, he smiled brightly. He saw the woman and security guard being led to safety, shock blankets hugging their forms. The woman paused when she glanced at him, her eyes narrowed suspiciously. As tears filled her eyes, she mouthed a simple thanks before allowing the EMT to lead her away. 

~~~~~~~~~~

“Koichi! Are you okay?” Kazuho cried as he limped through the glass double doors of the mall entrance. She rushed up at him, grabbing him by the biceps to look him up and down frantically. “The heroes just led the villain out in cuffs. What a brute! Are you sure you aren’t hurt?” 

“I’m fine, Pop,” he reassured her with an amused smile, regaled by her concern for him. “A bullet just grazed my leg; it’s nothin’ major. It isn’t even bleeding anymore.” Kazuho’s head dipped down to critically inspect the wound on his shin. After frowning at it for several seconds, she stepped away from him, cheeks pinkened. 

“You didn’t come back immediately… I was worried.” 

“Yeah,” he sighed apologetically, rubbing the back of his neck and wincing at the sweat coating his fingertips, “I lied low for a while to keep from attracting attention… I made a pretty good show of myself, after all.” 

“You sure did,” Kazuho laughed, pulling out her phone. She beckoned him to look over her shoulder as she pulled up a webpage; the video she showed him featured him zooming out of the jewelry store with the hostages in tow. The headline read, The Crawler’s Day Off? Heroic Mall Rescue by Naruhata Vigilante! 

“Wow,” he appreciated with a low whistle. “That was fast.” 

“Yup,” she agreed as she pocketed her smartphone. “I would say that was a productive day, wouldn’t you?” At her girlish giggle, Koichi’s body sagged, and he released a miserable whine. 

“No! I didn’t get that new hoodie! They’re probably all sold out now…” 

“Actually…” As Kazuho shyly spoke up, pressing the pad of her index finger to her lips as she bashfully swayed her hips from side to side, Koichi sprang up like a soldier snapping to attention. She snickered and pulled a shopping bag from behind her back. Koichi’s breath left him in an awed gasp. 

“Pop… You didn’t…” 

“While you were laying low, I ran by the store and snagged the last one.” 

“Thank you!” he trilled, snatching the bag as tears brimmed in his eyes. He cooed delightedly as he pulled the hoodie from the paper bag. He abandoned the container as he raised the article of clothing to adoringly admire it. “It’s spectacular… Pop, thank you!” he grinned, dropping the hoodie to reveal his absolutely beaming grin. Kazuho blushed and played with a chunk of her poofy pink hair. 

“Of course. I know how excited you were about it, so…” 

“But this must have cost so much! I have to pay you back.” As he went fishing his wallet out of his back pocket, Kazuho grabbed his wrist. 

“No, it’s okay,” she refused with a soft smile. She pulled her hand back, and Koichi’s arm flopped limply to his side as he stared at her in bewilderment. Going shy again, she once more swung her hips slowly from left to right and back again. “I was happy to buy it for you. You can just make it up to me by using it well.” 

Koichi blinked, humbled by her statement. Then, his grin widened, stretching his cheeks to an almost painful degree. He dropped his hoodie from his hips, depositing it in the shopping bag, before slipping his arms into the new one. “Y-you’re gonna wear that in this heat?!” Kazuho spluttered. 

“Yep,” Koichi smiled as he flapped the front of the jacket to settle it over his torso. He then leaned down to pick up the shopping bag. “Sure am. So, wanna head home? I’m starving.” 

Kazuho stared at him incredulously for a moment, then laughed mirthfully. 

“Sure. How about curry?” 

“Yum! My favorite!” 

Use it well, Kazuho’s voice echoed in his mind as he strolled alongside her. The image of the woman thanking him then came to mind. 

Yeah, Pop. I sure will. 

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

[whatiputonmyface]

Margaret’s Summer Product Diary

MORNING

I wake up at around 8:00 am, which, to paraphrase the president, is my personal Vietnam. I feed my plump cat, Clementine (catnip banana for scale), and then head into the bathroom, screaming at my Google Home to play my shower jams playlist. I drink a full bottle of water while waiting for the shower to get hot.

First I wash my hair with Drybar Blonde Ale Brightening Shampoo; it’s violently purple and helps neutralize the brassy tones from bleaching my naturally brown hair. I follow up with Rita Hazan Ultimate Shine Gloss in Breaking Brass. Both of these products are a bit drying, so once a week I use Rita Hazan Weekly Remedy Treatment. This two-step conditioner is the shit. My hair has never felt so soft and healthy – I was forcing coworkers to touch it all day after my first use. 

I cleanse my chest and back with the Body Shop’s Tea Tree Skin Clearing Body Wash (hooray for sweaty summer breakouts), and wash my face with Ole Henriksen Oil Control Cleanser.

When I get out of the shower I wrap my hair in an old t-shirt, because the internet told me to. I immediately apply La Neige Lip Sleeping Mask to my perpetually chapped lips.

I start my skincare with Belif Hydra Sebum Control Essence. It smells delicious, and I like patting it on, but it doesn’t really control oil that much. Then I apply a couple drops of The Ordinary’s Salicylic Acid 2% Solution all over my face.

As you can see in my picture, I have a lot of hyperpigmentation due to sun exposure when I was an idiot teenager. I’m currently on the hunt for a vitamin C serum, suggestions welcome!

The salicylic acid is topped off with a very thin layer (like, a pea-sized amount for my whole face) of Belif Aqua Bomb because it’s hot and I turn into a greasy swamp monster with anything heavier. It smells just as good as the essence.

IT ME.

Okay, skincare’s done! On to makeup. I refill my water bottle. Drinking 32 ounces of water every morning has… maybe helped my skin?

I smooth on CoverFX Mattifying Primer with Anti-Acne Treatment, which provides a great smooth base and also mattifies and provides even more salicylic acid to incinerate zits.

On my eyelids, brow bone, under-eye and cheekbone I apply CoverFX Illuminating Primer; I got it as a sample but I’m way too ~naturally dewy~ to use it all over. It provides a very subtle glow to the eye area and plays well under eyeshadow. In the summer, I use it in lieu of eye cream during the day.

I use Tarte BB Tinted Treatment Primer as foundation. I want to use this the rest of my life: it’s mattifying, pore-minimizing, covers quite well, AND has SPF. It should be called a foundation, not a primer, TBH.

Why yes, I DO use three primers. I’m a prime bitch.

A couple dark marks are still visible, so I dot on Nars Creamy Concealer in Custard (not pictured). I’ll set all that with Too Faced Peach Perfect Setting Powder, which actually smells like peaches, and tastes very nice if you get some in your mouth. I do blush and bronzer after setting powder because otherwise it makes me look washed out.

Then I apply blush (Tarte Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush in Paaaarty, which was the Sephora birthday gift last year, and it is Fine), and contour a bit with a matte bronzer (Benefit Hoola, also a sample). (Blend that fucking neck!!!!)

To finish off my facial canvas, I sweep Fenty Beauty Killawatt Freestyle Highlighter in Hu$tla Baby on my cheekbones and orbital area. I am now Rihanna.

This is exhausting. 

Most days I use Too Faced Sweet Peach Eyeshadow Palette; today I’ve used a pretty rose gold shade from it. I then do a small cat eye using Kat Von D’s Tattoo Liner; when I’m dead, I want tattoo liners scattered on my grave every Christmas. I follow up with Too Faced Better Than Pizza Sex Mascara, which is fine but not really worth the hype to me? Again, it was a sample. I subscribe to Sephora Play and use whatever mascara they send every couple of months.

Side note: I seem to have a lot of Too Faced in my routine, but somehow did not pay for any of it.

The last step in my makeup regimen is also my least favorite: brows. I have sparse brows that seem to grow straight down. Using an eyeliner brush & small strokes, I apply ELF Eyebrow Kit gel in Light. I try not to make my brows too dark, and follow up with Benefit’s Gimme Brow.

All this time, my hair has been air drying. I got a keratin treatment a couple months ago, but it’s starting to wear off, which means my not-so-luscious locks are starting to get puffy and frizzy again. I attempt to smooth things a bit with IGK’s Mistress Hydrating Hair Balm, and then blast my roots with the blow dryer. I end up twisting my hair into a topknot to ensure it looks really horrible later.

Finally, I brush my teeth and dab on Nars Velvet Matte Lipstick Pencil in Cruella, a bright red that looks like a rosy lip stain if used sparingly.

Here I am! I don’t know how to pose?!

FINALLYYYYYYY, at 9:00ish, I go to work. I am a sweaty swamp monster from the second I enter the subway station.

MIDDAY

Blot blot blot blot blot with those toilet seat protector things. It’s the only decent ~life hack~ I’ve seen on Buzzfeed.

Makeup is holding up well, aside from lipstick (I forgot to bring it to reapply) and hair looks less terrible than expected. I drink 3-4 bottles of water at work.

EVENING

I leave the office around 7:00 pm. During warmer months I walk about 2 miles home through Central Park. It’s the most beautiful and relaxing commute, but the downside is I arrive home with a wicked case of boob sweat.

I throw my hair into a bun and hop into the shower again to cleanse my body and soul of sweat and general NYC grossness. While I’m in there I wash my face with the same Ole Henriksen Oil Control Cleanser.

Clementine guards me whilst I bathe.

After showering, I lube my body up with Eucerin. While that soaks in, I stand naked in the middle of the apartment and get stoned.

Before bed, I remove any lingering eye makeup with a couple drops of The Ordinary’s Moroccan Argan Oil (not pictured), and use a cotton ball to apply The Ordinary’s Glycolic Acid 7% Toning Solution. This toner RULES, and is frequently sold out, because it is a HUGE bottle and only eight goddamn dollars, and a dupe for Glossier’s toner.

Continuing on The Ordinary train, I pat-pat-pat a few drops of Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5 into my face, and follow up with The Ordinary’s Niacinamide 10% + Zinc 2% serum. Niacinamide is great for treating acne, but isn’t in a lot of products yet. It’s anti-inflammatory and this serum can be worn under makeup.

Once again I apply Belif’s Aqua Bomb and then smear on Estee Lauder’s Advanced Night Repair Eye Cream. It’s kind of greasy, but I believe eye cream is a scam and refuse to spend money on it. Samples only for this gal. I’m so fiscally responsible!

After all this is complete, I brush my teeth, braid my hair and get in bed at about 10:30. Goodnight!

[heirloomcolour]

Cellophane

On the vanity rests a butter knife. I predict it will reside there for the coming two or three weeks. I say this, only because I know it to be true. Patterns of butter knives pasts would lead me to believe so. Its very micro-sarrations used to break the plastic encasing a golden honeycombed bath bomb. I smoked two cigarettes in the bath because I felt overwhelmingly entitled to it. Of course, preventative measures were taken beforehand to avoid nicotine staining the thin, beige painted gypsum sheets. I carefully ticked each ash into the purple cap of a shaving cream can. Under the light of a single- wicked, pure white, table candle inserted into an old green wine bottle. A frozen mug of sweet tea, to offset the boiling bath water. The bath water I had anticipated would absolve my sins, but that was ambitious for a bath. I realize this. It reminded me of lonely baths in my mother’s empty house. Dreaming of you, and trying to forget you. I ran from nothing last night, in fact, that wasn’t even the objective of my mission. I sought to feel something other than irritation and anxiety. Aside from the obvious engulfing warmth of the almost-boiling creamy, honey water- I focused on nothing but the ashes. Carefully ticking ashes into the shave gel cap, no thoughts about anything otherwise. The emptiness felt surprisingly lovely. Flooded with thoughts of nothing- my mind only processing the brown hues of the shower tile. The careful ticking of each individual piece of ash, the lines of white wax running down the base of the wine bottle. All signs point to slipping into a further area of nothing- tell tell signs that a depression tinted era is nearing. Now, I wait. To be engulfed in the numbing analgesic of all of the nothings. And, of course, a welcome cheers to the inevitable.